What Exactly am I Working Towards?

I have reached a quarter life crisis.

The Catalyst 
This year is my fourth year as a retail sales associate still running back and forth on the sales floor like one of the newer staffs. Every time I come into work and get placed on the sales floor, I can’t help but just worry about life and start to bombard myself with internal questions such as “why am I still here” or “what exactly is my purpose right now”. I look around on the sales floor and start to feel lost in the midst of all the newer staff members. All the coworkers from my very first summer are gone and all of the coworkers that started at this location the same year I did are either gone or promoted.

As I run frantically to meet customer demands, I start to question what exactly am I trying to achieve and why I was stupid enough to come back. I have no motivation left. Four years working for this company and I am exactly where I started. Nothing has really changed.

“Started from the bottom now I’m still at the bottom” LOL

I know so many people that are stepping into a new level of work, a place out of their comfort zone and are getting assigned more responsibilities and tasks with the newer, more professional jobs they have. With new responsibilities come new experiences. Exactly what I need. Secretly, I accepted to come back this summer as I thought I’d be taken off the sales floor and be placed on cash permanently or at least 95% of the time. Totally wrong lol.

The Next Step
I acknowledge that in this post, I am just ranting which in the end really leads to no solution nor tips that I can guide you with. Therefore, I decided to list my goals and plans for the future in hopes of getting out of this crisis and finding the motivation that I lost.

  • Next Summer 
    1. What I really want to do is work for a bank whether it be behind the scenes or directly working with customers as a representative.
    2. If plan A doesn’t work I would like to get a summer position as a legal assistant or receptionist at a law firm.
    3.  If plan A and B doesn’t work out, I would have to return to this current company or find a new retail job (perhaps at a mall). Right now, the chances of me returning are very slim just because I think I would go insane if I had to spend a fifth summer on the sales floor. (PROMOTE ME LOL)
  • Plans for this School Year
    1.  I joined a student finance group where I have the position as a marketing associate. I want to do my best with this group and create many strong relationships with the other team members.
    2. Do well in school. This year is the year where I really focus on my major (Law & Business).
    3. Get out of my comfort zone, enhance my creativity, and really work on improving my interpersonal skills.